I was in a group discussion the other evening, prompted by a quote. I’m totally paraphrasing here, because I can’t remember the actual quote (or even who said it).

“Three things you can’t take back once someone has them: learning, pride and fearlessness.”

Although we talked about all three, the group seemed to fix especially on the notion of “pride”. Some thought that pride wasn’t necessarily good, that humility is a better attribute. Some thought that pride could be misplaced, such as having pride in one’s country when you disagree vehemently with the things your country is doing. Some thought that pride could be taken away, by someone who humiliates you and degrades you.

I think having pride means feeling whole, centered and complete in who you are and what your place is in the world. It’s being comfortable in your own skin and not needing outside affirmation to tell you that you’re fine. And once you achieve that place, no one can take it away from you; it’s inside you and not subject to the whims or the negative forces of other people.

Given that, I see it as quite possible to have pride and humility. In fact, true pride always carries with it a piece that is humility. You can feel whole and complete with yourself, and still feel humble in the face of something greater – whether that’s a higher power or a movement or being part of the human race. Think of Nelson Mandela or the Dalai Lama. I submit that both men are secure in who they are, and feel pride and wholeness in that knowing, yet are humbled in the face of something bigger. They are proud men, but not “prideful”, which I see as arrogance.

Becoming whole, calm, centered and secure in your own skin is something to work towards. The best thing about finally developing this pride in yourself is that, once you have it, you simply cannot fail. You are you, and you live your life successfully 24 hours a day.

What life lessons have you learned? What parts of “you” make you a better person?